Before really diving into this open letter to The Young and the Restless, I think it’s important that we get a few things straight. First and foremost? I love the show. Not always and certainly not the last few years. But I do. I have been enthralled by Victor Newman’s Machiavellian exploits. I have savored every splash of hot sauce that Drucilla Winters has poured into scenes. I have delighted in the chaos that has been wrought by psychos like Sheila Carter and David Kimble. I am, in short, a fan.

 

 

Secondly, I believe with my whole heart that there are a lotta people working their butts off to make the show great. Sometimes they succeed, too. But here’s the thing, and we all knew that there was going to be a “thing,” right? Too often — way too often — even those best efforts are undermined by writing that seems determined to disregard every sensible rule of thumb for a daytime drama or a drama, period.

 

Young & Restless seems almost hell-bent on not exciting viewers. Just look at recent history. Yes, we’ve had the occasional spike of the EKG (Nikki and Jack’s bender, for instance, and Jordan’s reign of terror, silly as it was). But by and large, if the show hints at something interesting coming up, it turns around and shoots it right down. Consider…

 

 

Audra was introduced as the love of Noah’s life, an old flame who burned so brightly, he got PTSD just from blowing out birthday candles. Did Young & Restless play their story? Nope. It let Noah and Allie take up residence in Dullsville before finally banishing them from Genoa City.

Devon and Abby blew up their committed relationships by randomly schtupping. And in the aftermath, have they dealt with the ramifications of knowing that they have shacked up with a two-timer? Have they lived in wonder whether what they did to Chance and Amanda, they’ll ultimately do to one another? Have they sought to take another bite of forbidden fruit with other lovers? Nah. They’ve settled down into the sort of bland domesticity that would make even Ozzie and Harriet be like, “Oh dear, must we invite them to our garden party? Abby’s cole slaw isn’t even that good.”

 

Young & Restless seemed to have a good thing going with Sharon and Chance. But instead of capitalize on it and give us a sexy couple falling in lust as much as love, the show thrust Rey’s widow into some whackadoo dream that left her dumping her new boyfriend for… Honestly, we still couldn’t tell you what the reason was, the whole thing was so freaking weird. And stranger still? Ever since, Sharon has been stuck in storyline Siberia.

Phyllis has been right there with her, too. In the wake of her nonsensical pursuit of ex-husband Danny, she’s had almost as little to do as Esther. How is that even possible? Phyllis is a live wire. All she has to do is walk in, and a scene becomes more energized. But she’s being treated like a Mary Williams with a better wardrobe. Why are Michael and Lauren, whom everyone loves, forever B players? How can notorious horndog Nick not have rebounded from Sally into someone else’s bed yet? Why is anyone letting Billy even talk about, never mind call, the shots at any company ever?

The mystifying and infuriating decisions just go on and on. Young & Restless spent weeks building up to the big courtroom battle between Lily and Daniel… and then decided that the most gripping move it could make would be to drop the whole thing. Some big upset triggered the introduction of Ashley’s multiple personalities, but are we following her fraught journey as she seeks to discover what it is? No. That’s happening off screen. All we got was a bunch of outré alters bickering about a murder plot that never came to fruition.

 

Not that Young & Restless didn’t manage to kill Tucker, at least metaphorically speaking. From the moment that Ashley’s ex was brought back to Genoa City, he’s been ineffectual, passive, someone who has talked a good game but not for one second has played one. Why? Why was the choice made to have him be so pathetic that he’d chase after Ashley even when it was clear she was at most lukewarm on him? Why was he constantly hatching plots that never amounted to anything? Was the show trying to tell us that he just sucked at being conniving?

 

I don’t get it. And I know it’s easy to sit back and criticize when other people are working so hard to put on a compelling show. But when I look at Young & Restless and then look at, sheesh, almost anything else, I’m like, “I know you can do better than this.” It’s like the other day, when Diane and Nikki were sniping at one another. That should have been soap-opera gold, lifelong nemeses making a show of dressing their nastiness in niceties. But the writing was so witless, so leaden, that the scene had all the fizz of a flat soda.

 

Ironically, that same day, I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and happened upon this scene from 1939’s The Women. It’s a biggie, a faceoff between virtuous Mary Haines (Norma Shearer) and her husband’s mistress, Crystal Allen (Joan Crawford at her wicked best). There are no histrionics, there’s no slapping, just dialogue that crackles with intelligence and intensity. Even Mary, who’s so sweet, she could give ya a toothache, comes off strong and impressive. This is what Young & Restless needs. More sharply defined characters and impactful writing that allows them to drive story rather than pull over to the side of the road and gaze at the green-screen scenery.

Your thoughts on Young & Restless? Drop ’em in a comment.